"Behaviour that's admired is the path to power among people everywhere" ~Beowulf, Seamus Heaney Every one loves a great hero story. We line up in droves to see the latest superhero movie. We cheer on the protagonist in an action feature as he annihilates bad guys left and right. We find ourselves tearing up as … Continue reading The need for heroes, an introduction
This concept seems a rather odd inspiration in which to write about neuroendocrine cancer, yet it has been on my mind for a while now. It was first introduced to me in a short story by Thomas Pynchon in my American Literature Survey class and the story just stuck with me. This story seems especially … Continue reading Just what does entropy have to do with NET cancer anyway?
Here I sit, at quarter to eleven in the morning, in my pajamas with absolutely no intention of getting a shower. To be quite honest, I'm actually afraid of the shower and how I am going to feel afterward. Anyone who has experienced chronic pain and the accompanying fatigue will understand...the shower is just a … Continue reading It’s a purple butterfly zebra kind of life
This past week has been nothing short of a whirlwind. After being TDY for two weeks, my husband took some time off to tear the house apart and repaint. It has been seven long years since we last painted the walls and, believe me, this venture has been desperately needed. Now, here I sit, amid … Continue reading If walls could talk…
There is nothing so humbling in this world than receiving the news that the body harbors a potentially deadly disease. The range of emotions is intense as the mind desperately tries to process this new reality. I can remember sitting in that dark room in the emergency department, trying to maintain a grasp on reality … Continue reading Out of weakness comes incredible strength
Rest. What a wonderful word. It brings with it feelings of relaxation and refreshment; a chance to renew the spirit and bring a freshness back to the old routines of life. Many of us look forward to periods of rest so we can separate ourselves from the everyday mundane pace of work and enjoy some … Continue reading A sabbath rest
I've said it before and I'll say it again, it is impossible to have a hobbit-sized appetite after having extensive abdominal surgery. It seems like any time I allow my eyes to overpower my stomach, I find myself on the couch, curled up in agony, wishing that I had exercised a bit more self control. … Continue reading If purees be the food of life, eat on!
I have to admit that these last few weeks have been very difficult. Since being diagnosed with cancer I have become almost a literal shut-in. I have very little contact with the outside world anymore and it is beginning to wear heavily on my soul. Today, as I sit before the computer, the tears are … Continue reading All other ground is sinking sand
The last few days have been rough ones for me. Since starting cancer treatment, I have found myself locked up in the house for days on end, speaking to almost no one, and wishing for my old life back. Having all this time on my hands has made it difficult not to think about the … Continue reading Casting away anxiety
"I can't believe that! said Alice. "Can't you?" the Queen said in a pitying tone. "Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes." Alice laughed. "There's no use in trying," she said: "one can't believe in impossible things." ~Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass Yes, in today's rational society it has become almost impossible, as … Continue reading Believing in the impossible